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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28344768">the landslide brought me down</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/brittandsanforever/pseuds/brittandsanforever'>brittandsanforever</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Brittana: the scenes that could’ve been [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Brittana - Fandom, Glee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Santana Lopez is a sad little puppy who just wants to be loved, significance of the Indigo Girls finally explained, why Holly Holliday is the best Glee adult</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 20:07:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,337</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28344768</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/brittandsanforever/pseuds/brittandsanforever</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Miss Holliday says that a song can help say all the words that might be difficult to express otherwise, and Santana's willing to trust her, if it means finally getting her girl. Part two of three works detailing the events of Sexy (2x15).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Santana Lopez/Brittany S. Pierce</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Brittana: the scenes that could’ve been [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1936897</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the landslide brought me down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title is lyrics from Fleetwood Mac's Landslide.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Santana pulled into her usual parking spot at McKinley and both girls hopped out of the car, Brittany holding up her pinky for Santana to take. She linked their pinkies without hesitation, although this was more of a thing they did sophomore year, but it brought them both immediate comfort. </p><p>They’d finished off the mocha latte from the Lima Bean (Santana’s favorite, of course) and were now sharing the vanilla one that was starting to get cold. It was a particularly chilly March morning and Santana was wearing <em> hardly </em> what you’d call a winter coat (a tight athletic half-zip that Brittany once told her made her boobs look <em> amazing</em>). Brittany noticed Santana’s shivering and quickly stripped off her top layer—a white jean jacket, and insisted that Santana put it on. The Latina gave her a grateful look as they re-linked pinkies.</p><p>They walked hurriedly into the school to escape the cold and immediately were on the lookout for Miss Holliday. As juniors, they had study hall for their first period, which they usually ditched and came to school an hour later, but Santana knew that Miss Holliday <em> also </em>had a free first period, so it would be the perfect time to approach her. </p><p>Brittany poked her head into the library in search of the older blonde woman and quickly spotted Miss Holliday talking with Puck and Zizes, and she pulled Santana inside with her. They waited carefully behind a bookshelf until Miss Holliday turned and walked in their direction, Brittany tugging at Santana's arm so that they were now standing in front of her. Brittany gave Santana a small nudge, encouraging her to speak first. </p><p>“<em>Miss Holliday, we need your help</em>.”</p><p>Minutes later, Santana found herself sitting on the floor in the darkened choir room next to Brittany in what Miss Holliday called her <em> sacred sexy sharing circle</em>. Santana thought it was lame, but if Miss Holliday could help them, she didn’t care <em> what </em>she called it. </p><p>Suddenly she felt like her heart was beating out of her chest, and her palms were sweaty, and she looked over at Brittany who was <em> staring </em>at her with those intense, twinkling blue eyes and she could see Miss Holliday watching them curiously, trying to understand. </p><p>In the library, Brittany had explained in a hushed voice what exactly it was that they needed help with, and Miss Holliday’s eyes widened in what the girls guessed was shock, but then she smiled and led them out of the library and down the hall.</p><p>When Miss Holliday candidly asked the girls if they thought they might be <em> lesbians</em>, Santana surprisingly didn’t feel like she wanted to throw up. It was the first time someone had ever asked her that, and said the word out loud in reference to her, and it actually didn’t bother her as much as she thought it would—it no longer felt like such a dirty word. She turned her head to look at Brittany, waiting for her to give an answer first, to which she responded with a simple, “<em>I don’t know</em>.”</p><p>Santana knew that Brittany wasn’t a lesbian (even if she sort of wishes she was). She was attracted to girls, but she wasn’t like Santana. Brittany didn’t have to mentally <em> prepare </em> herself to kiss a boy, shutting her eyes tight and waiting for it to be over as soon as he leaned in. She didn’t feel <em> sick </em> to her stomach when a boy ran his hands up her shirt, rough fingers grabbing and squeezing blindly. And she didn’t feel like <em> sobbing </em> after sleeping with a boy, laying in bed afterwards, thinking <em> what the hell is wrong with me? </em></p><p>Brittany wasn’t a lesbian. <em> But am I? </em> Santana asked herself, but in more of a rhetorical way, because she knew deep down what the answer was. Maybe she always knew. But she wasn’t going to admit that to Miss Holliday, or Brittany, she wasn’t ready for that. So instead she said, “<em>I mean who knows, I’m attracted to girls, and I’m attracted to guys.” </em> And it was the biggest lie of the century, because Santana knew that she’s <em> never </em>been attracted to guys, despite how hard she’s tried for years to convince herself and everyone else. </p><p>And that’s when Miss Holliday says something that really hits her: “<em>It’s not about who you are attracted to, ultimately, it’s about who you fall in love with.” </em></p><p>Santana realized in that moment that she doesn’t just <em> love </em> Brittany, but she’s <em> in love </em> with Brittany, in a really big <em> I want to be with her forever </em> type of way, and those are feelings she could just never reciprocate for a guy. Not only has Santana never really been attracted to guys (there are a few exceptions, but they’re all guys she knows she can never have, like Draco Malfoy from <em> Harry Potter </em> when she was younger, Aaron Samuels from <em> Mean Girls, </em> and most recently Carl Howell the dentist), but she’s never had any true feelings for them, either. Not like the feelings she has for Brittany. She’s sure <em> nothing </em>could compare to what she feels for Brittany. </p><p>But then Brittany says something that crushes her, and it hurts even more knowing that it’s completely her fault that Brittany feels that way. “<em>I don’t know how I feel, because Santana refuses to talk about it.”  </em></p><p>All of the times Santana ever shut Brittany down, or made her feel like her feelings weren’t valid, or said that what they were doing was <em> nothing </em> and <em> meant </em> nothing replayed in her head. <em> Sex isn’t dating. I’m not making out with you because I’m in love with you. I think it’s better when it doesn’t involve feelings. </em> Brittany had been ready <em> months </em>ago to profess her love for Santana, and now she wasn’t even sure how she felt due to Santana’s inability to open up.</p><p>Miss Holliday could sense that Santana was guarded, and that her cold ice queen exterior was used as a way to hide all of her immense feelings. She wasn’t a psychologist, but she was damn good at reading people (and particularly young people from her years of being a high school sub). She knew that Santana wasn’t going to talk, but then she came up with an <em> amazing </em> idea. These girls were in <em> Glee club</em>, right? </p><p>“<em>Why don’t you guys find a song and see if maybe the lyrics of the song could help you start a dialogue going?” </em></p><p>When Santana agreed, Brittany looked at her in such a <em> proud </em> way, like that even agreeing to this was such a big step, especially because they were going to be singing in front of the <em> entire </em>Glee club. Santana had the perfect song in mind and Miss Holliday’s eyes lit up when she told her what song it was without hesitation. Brittany seemed a bit confused, because she’d heard the song plenty of times (it was one of her favorites from Fleetwood Mac, and the first time she ever heard it was with Santana) but she didn’t quite get how the song fit them. </p><p>“You’ll see, Britt-Britt. It’ll make sense when we’re singing it,” Santana reassured her, and they went their separate ways for their second and third periods before meeting back at the now lit and bustling choir room for Glee club. Miss Holliday had asked them if they wanted a day to prepare, but Santana quickly said “<em>No</em>, it has to be today.” She knew that if she waited any longer, her fears might get the best of her, and she wouldn’t be able to get up and sing to Brittany in front of everyone. And she <em> needed </em> this, <em> they </em>needed this. </p><p>When Santana arrived in the choir room, she immediately spotted Miss Holliday sitting in the middle of the room with her guitar, Brittany in the stool next to her. Brittany looked a bit nervous, her hands fumbling in her lap, almost like she was worried Santana wouldn’t show, but smiled as soon as she met the Latina’s gaze. Santana eyed the empty seat on the other side of Miss Holliday and set her backpack down near the piano, walking nervously over and plopping down onto the stool. </p><p>As she looked over at Brittany, she remembered how last summer they’d gone down to the music store together and rented a bunch of different records, both girls wanting to expand their musical repertoire for Glee club so that Rachel Berry could no longer hold over their heads that Quinn was the only Unholy Trinity member with decent music taste. One of them happened to be the self-titled 1975 <em> Fleetwood Mac </em>album, and they spent a whole day listening to every single song on it.</p><p>They’d spent the entire summer afternoon sprawled out on beach towels in the grass by Brittany’s pool in her backyard wearing bikini tops and loose jean shorts, with Santana’s portable radio between them. It was a perfect July day, with not a single cloud in the sky, and Brittany’s mom came out from the house every few hours to make sure they weren’t sunburnt and had a full pitcher of ice-cold lemonade. She even brought them a platter of watermelon and freshly-made grilled cheese around lunchtime. </p><p>Brittany really liked the song <em> Rhiannon </em>and made Santana play it over and over until after the tenth time, Santana complained, and the blonde finally let her change it. In the late afternoon, Allison came running from inside wearing a swimsuit covered in daisies and bright green goggles and catapulted herself into the pool, sending a ginormous splash wave sloshing out and right towards the two girls laying in the grass. </p><p>Santana had shrieked and looked to Brittany, who’d also gotten completely drenched. They both immediately got up, shimmied out of their shorts, and dove into the pool after Ally, with Santana promising to <em> drown the little squirt. </em>After spending over half an hour chasing the energetic squealing 9-year-old around the pool, Brittany suggested they go up to her room to finish listening to the album and dry off. </p><p>Minutes later she was sitting on the edge of Brittany’s bed as the blonde gently combed through her wet and already-frizzing raven hair, the first notes of <em> Landslide </em>beginning to play softly from her radio, which had thankfully not been damaged from Ally’s pool shenanigans. </p><p>She’d heard the song before, but this was the first time she really got to <em> listen </em> to it. It was a beautiful song, but at the time, Santana didn’t understand its meaning. All she knew was that the orange glow of sunset streaming in from Brittany’s window made her look like some sort of <em>summer goddess</em>, and there were new freckles dusting her cheeks and nose, and she smelled like citrus and sunblock and <em> Brittany, </em> and with <em> this </em>song playing while delicate hands braided the Latina’s hair, Santana wished she could freeze the moment and live in it forever. </p><p>She remembers turning to meet Brittany’s gaze as Stevie Nicks sang, <em> oh, mirror in the sky, what is love? </em> and her chest filled with warmth, and she felt fluttery and light and safe, feelings she only ever experienced with Brittany. She realized in the moment that maybe she didn’t know exactly what love was yet, but the blonde girl sitting next to her, who was looking at her like she was the most precious thing in the whole world, made her desperately want to find out (despite how absolutely terrified she was).</p><p>Santana is brought back into the present by Mr. Schue obnoxiously clapping his hands to get everyone’s attention. She knows now that she finally understands the meaning of the song and that it conveys almost <em> everything </em>she’s been dying to tell Brittany for months now. Mr. Schue introduced the trio and then sat down with the rest of the Glee club, while Miss Holliday and the band behind them began strumming their guitars. </p><p>“Remember ladies, a song can help you say all the words that might be difficult to express otherwise. Relax, don’t be nervous. You’ve performed in front of crowds much larger than this,” Miss Holliday whispered, just loud enough for Santana and Brittany to hear.</p><p>That was true, Santana <em> had </em> performed in front of large crowds and packed auditoriums, and even scored her first major Glee solo just months ago, but unlike those times when she’d felt supremely confident and sure of herself, like she could do <em> anything</em>, right now she was nothing but a giant bundle of nerves, two seconds away from sprinting out of the choir room.</p><p>She looked out into the sea of all her friends and New Directions members and realized that many of them meant a lot to her, although she’d never admit it to their faces. Quinn, Puck, Finn, Kurt, Mercedes, Boy <em> and </em> Girl Chang, Mr. Schue, and even Sam, Zizes, and <em> Berry </em> were all people she <em> cared </em> about, at least a little bit. She purposefully left out <em> Wheels </em>from her list, because she still felt like rolling him off a cliff every time she heard his damn wheelchair squeaking down the halls. </p><p>Santana also took note of how <em> two </em> of them (and possibly more) knew her secret, or enough to at least <em> suspect </em> that it was true. She knew that after this, <em> all </em> of them might know, and the thought had her nearly bolting out the door. But then she locked eyes with Brittany, and suddenly felt anchored to her chair. </p><p>
  <em> I took my love, I took it down</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I climbed a mountain and I turned around</em>
</p><p>The song began abruptly and Miss Holliday was singing the first verse, with Santana and Brittany swaying on either side of her. Santana insisted that Miss Holliday took the lead on the song, because she thinks she might’ve broken down halfway through or upon getting to the chorus, and she’s not sure she could live down the fact that she botched a Fleetwood Mac song in front of the whole Glee club. </p><p>
  <em> And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Till the landslide brought me down</em>
</p><p>Santana couldn’t help but lean forward in her stool and glance over at Brittany every few seconds, trying to show her, <em> tell </em> her through the lyrics <em> everything </em>she’s felt and known in her heart to be true for the longest time. </p><p>Brittany’s eyes never left Santana for the entire performance. She kept tracing the Latina’s features with her eyes, searching for the emotions that she <em> knew </em>Santana felt, but kept bottled up inside. When they got to the first chorus of the song, with both girls harmonizing in the background, it was written all over Santana’s face. This was Santana’s way of opening her heart to Brittany in the most intimate way she knew how, in front of all of their friends. </p><p>
  <em> Well, I’ve been afraid of changing  </em>
</p><p>
  <em> ‘Cause I’ve built my life around you </em>
</p><p>Their eyes locked intensely, and all of the faces staring at them seemed to fade away into black and it was just Santana and Brittany and Miss Holliday’s soothing voice. It was then time for Santana’s short solo verse during the chorus, and she stared directly into Brittany’s eyes with such conviction and yearning.</p><p>
  <em> But time makes you bolder, even children get older </em>
</p><p>
  <em> And I’m getting older, too </em>
</p><p>Santana was now fighting back tears as she sang, thankful that Miss Holliday took over. She hoped <em> so badly </em> that Brittany understood everything she was trying to say, from the fact that she was <em> terrified </em> but knew in her heart that what she felt for Brittany was <em> love</em>, to the fact that Brittany taught her what love <em> is</em>, and Brittany’s the only one who ever truly <em> saw </em> her and <em> loved </em> her for exactly who she is, and that slowly, without even realizing it, Santana built her life around Brittany and everything she stood for. And with time, Santana’s not only gotten older but <em> bolder</em>, and with Brittany by her side, maybe she’s finally ready to face all of her fears. But Brittany’s eyes said enough….she <em> knew. </em></p><p>When the song ended, Santana found herself wiping away tears and drying her face with her sleeves. She peered out into the audience nervously, but everyone smiled at them and clapped. She noted how both Quinn and Mr. Schue seemed concerned but not so confused, like maybe they’ve known about her and Brittany all along. She also noted the lack of surprise on Puck and Rachel’s faces, as well as the utter obliviousness of both Sam and Artie (although Artie stared at her for almost <em> too </em>long, and Santana thinks that maybe he’s starting to suspect that something’s going on).</p><p>Seconds later, Brittany’s looking at her with wide eyes, asking her in a particularly small voice, <em> “Is that how you really feel?” </em> and Santana doesn’t hesitate before nodding and replying with a bashful and quiet “<em>Uh, yeah,” </em>just loud enough for Brittany to hear.</p><p>And then she’s being enveloped in Brittany’s arms, wrapped up in her tight embrace and the mesmerizing scent of her fruity shampoo, and everything feels so <em> safe </em> and <em> right </em> when Brittany’s holding her like this that she forgets that they’re basically on a <em> stage </em>right now, with multiple pairs of eyes watching them carefully, attempting to understand.</p><p>The moment is ruined by Rachel <em> freakin’ </em> Berry, who stands up and applauds them before making some comment about their <em> “Sapphic charm.” </em> That one word sent Santana into immediate fight-or-flight mode and all the blood drained from her face as she untangled herself from Brittany and stared daggers across the room at Rachel. The same Rachel who just weeks ago promised she’d <em> never tell</em>, who swore against all that is holy that she would <em> never </em> say anything about her and Brittany, who looked like she <em> meant </em>those words when she said them.</p><p>“<em>Look, just because I sang a song with Brittany, doesn’t mean you can put a label on me. Is that clear?” </em> Santana remarked icily, giving one last longing glance towards Brittany before striding across the room, swinging her backpack onto her shoulder, and leaving the choir room without looking back. She was less angry than she was <em> terrified</em>, realizing that maybe she’s <em> not </em> so ready for everyone to know the truth. At least <em> Brittany </em>finally knew, and that’s all that mattered to Santana. </p><p>“Miss Holliday….<em>thank you</em>, for everything,” Brittany said as she turned towards the older woman, who immediately reached out to rest a comforting hand on her shoulder. </p><p>“Oh, no thank you necessary, hon….this is my favorite part of what I do. And Santana’s just scared, but she won’t be forever. She'll come around, and you two will be okay, Brittany, you hear me?” Brittany nodded appreciatively before watching Miss Holliday leave the room, not quite sure if she entirely believed her words because it seemed like everything was falling apart again, and then Brittany heard the shrill voice of the girl who made Santana flee the room just seconds ago. </p><p>Now Brittany was glaring at Rachel from across the room, fingernails digging into her palms as she clenched her fists angrily (and Brittany was rarely ever truly angry). Rachel just <em> had </em> to go and say one of the triggering words that Brittany avoided using at all costs. <em> Does Rachel know about us? </em>Brittany wondered. When Mr. Schue dismissed the Glee club for the day, Brittany waited until everyone was leaving and made a beeline for Rachel, cornering her by the doorway. </p><p>“How much do you know?”</p><p>“What do you mean? I don’t know anything about anything,” Rachel babbled nervously, her eyes darting around the room to avoid the blonde’s gaze, and Brittany saw right through it because Rachel Berry had many talents, but lying wasn’t one of them. </p><p>“I’m not messing around, Rachel Barbra Berry. And yes, I know your middle name, ‘cause Lord Tubbington did an extensive Google search on you once. Anyways, <em> how much do you know</em>?” Brittany repeated after getting a bit sidetracked, this time in a voice laced with desperation and rage, causing Rachel to take a nervous two steps back from the blonde. Rachel knew that all three members of the Unholy Trinity weren’t above bitch-slapping someone (okay, maybe Brittany was, as she’s always been the one holding Quinn and Santana back, telling them calmly to <em> stop the violence</em>), but she’s never seen Brittany like <em> this</em>. </p><p>“Fine. I….know about the two of you. That your relationship is....romantic, in some nature and  capacity, the extent to which I am unsure. But that’s truly all I know, Brittany, I swear. You know how Santana is, she’s a tough nut to crack, she won’t tell me anything. <em> I’ve </em>just always been very observant. I guess that happens when you have two gay dads,” Rachel said, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly. </p><p>“She doesn’t want anyone to know that we’re….<em>you know</em>. She’s not ready. So I don’t care if you make those comments about me, but <em> not </em>her, okay? We’re taking baby steps, and I think you just set us, like, a hundred feet back.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Brittany, I really am. Sometimes I just….blurt things out without really thinking about what they could mean for other people.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know, and it’s really annoying,” Brittany replied with an eye roll, crossing her arms against her chest and swinging her backpack onto her shoulder.</p><p>“Is there anything I can do to fix this? Should I try to speak with her?” Rachel asked, reaching out to grab Brittany’s arm to stop her from leaving. </p><p>“No, don’t. I don’t think she wants to talk to anyone right now. You’ve done enough, Rachel, okay? Right now, Santana’s like….a moose in the headlights. One wrong move, and you’ll scare her off, or she’ll come charging at you and ram you with her antlers,” Brittany explained, and Rachel scrunched her eyebrows together at the blonde’s words.</p><p>“I think the saying is <em> ‘deer in the headlights’, </em>but I do get what you’re saying, Britt, and I truly am sorry.”</p><p>“<em> I’m </em> not the one you owe an apology to. But now that I thought about it….there <em> is </em> something you can do to help.”</p><p>“I’m all ears, whatever you need,” Rachel told her, and Brittany suddenly had a mysterious glimmer in her eyes.</p><p>At around 6:30 that night, Rachel found herself sitting in Brittany’s bedroom, watching the blonde struggle to squeeze Lord Tubbington into a ridiculous, way-too-small striped sweater. </p><p>“I don’t get it….you’re creating a <em> talk show?</em> What, like <em> Ellen </em> or <em> Oprah?”</em></p><p>“Yeah, but like, those shows are <em> so </em> boring. I want mine to be super fun and <em> not </em> boring, that’s why I’m calling it <em> Fondue For Two!” </em></p><p>“Uh, okay. Is there a reason you’re naming it after hot melted cheese?” Rachel asked, obviously confused, her eyes widening as she watched Brittany pull out a large fondue pot from under her bed that had somehow already been filled with strange-smelling cheese that there was <em> no way </em> Rachel was tasting, even if Brittany begged her to.</p><p>“Well, my parents got me a fondue pot for Christmas because they know how much I love fondue. And I’ve had the idea to create my own Internet show for <em> years</em>, I mean, I’m <em> obviously </em> one of the most popular girls at McKinley, so everyone at school will be <em> dying </em> to come on the show and gossip, and I’ll have special guests and interview them and we can eat fondue. So, <em> Fondue For Two! </em> And of course, Lord Tubbington will be making an appearance every episode to dish up some sage advice. I’m telling you, Rachel, it’s going to be <em> a-mazing</em>,” Brittany explained as she spun around in her desk chair, and Rachel was trying her hardest not to make a face.</p><p>“I….wow, Britt, you’ve really thought this through. I guess I’m just confused about why <em> I’m </em>here?”</p><p>“Well, Mike helped me film the intro, and spoiler alert, it’s <em> awesome</em>, we filmed it in like three different locations and the song is <em> super </em> catchy. And that girl from the wrestling team who’s also in AV club—shoot, I still can’t remember her name even though she’s in Glee club now too—but she taught me how to make a webpage and set up all the equipment, and the fondue is piping hot, so everything’s ready for my very first episode. <em> But</em>, I needed your help ‘cause I wanted to do something first that’s really special.”</p><p>“Okay….and what’s that?”</p><p>“Well….I wanted to perform a song for Santana, and film it live, like,<em> just for her</em>. She’ll be the first person to ever watch an episode of <em> Fondue For Two. </em>And of course, I need the talented Rachel Berry to help me sing it.”</p><p>“Aw, Britt! You know I can’t turn down a proposition like that, and flattery always helps. What song were you thinking?” Rachel asked excitedly, and Brittany leaned over to whisper it into her ear. The brunette’s eyebrows raised curiously as Brittany told her what song she had in mind. “That’s an interesting choice. I can’t say I’m very familiar with them.”</p><p>“Oh, well, Santana and I are. We listen to them <em> all </em> the time, but she’ll only listen with me when we’re alone together. They’re actually doing a show in Dayton next month, and I bought tickets for San and I to go. I’m gonna ask her at the end to go with me. Here, I printed off the lyrics of the song….I hope you’re a fast learner.”</p><p>Brittany and Rachel practiced for about an hour, making sure all the harmonies sounded <em> perfect</em>, and then Brittany set up the video equipment so that it was turned on her and Rachel sitting together on the bed. Right after Rachel agreed, Brittany sent an email to Santana with a link, telling her not to click it until exactly 8pm when they’d be starting the show. She texted Santana just before eight, to make sure that she was tuning in (which she was, of course).</p><p>“Welcome to the very first episode of <em> Fondue For Two</em>, streaming tonight <em> only </em> for one particularly gorgeous Latina, starring <em> me</em>, Brittany S. Pierce, and featuring a very special guest, the one and only Rachel Berry. Santana, I know today wasn’t easy, but I’m really, really proud of you, and I actually have a song for you, too. Also, please don’t be mad that Rachel’s here, I needed her to help me with the song, since it’s a duet.”</p><p>Santana knew about Brittany’s dream to start her own Internet talk show, but she wasn’t expecting <em>this</em>, and Brittany looked so happy that Santana didn’t even care that she was staring at a screen that was half-taken up by <em>Rachel Berry’s</em> <em>stupid face</em>. </p><p>Rachel started off with the first verse, and it took Santana a few seconds to recognize the song, but she remembered that it was one of Brittany’s favorites from the Indigo Girls. Santana has vivid memories of giving Brittany <em> sweet, sweet lady kisses </em>to this song, and lying in bed next to Brittany afterwards, feeling the blonde’s warm bare skin against her own, hearing nothing but their own heartbeats and the Indigo Girls’ soft voices as they gazed into each other’s eyes lazily but intently, foreheads brushing softly as they shared the same pillow.</p><p>Brittany took over for the first part of the chorus and Santana could almost <em> feel </em> like she was in Brittany’s room with her, just the two of them without <em> Rachel</em>, but then the brunette joined in for the second part of the chorus. Santana had to admit that their voices sounded good together, and although she was still <em> pissed </em> at Rachel, she understood why Brittany picked her to help sing the song (there was also truly no one else, since besides Puck, Rachel was the only one who knew about them). </p><p>
  <em> So we’re okay, we’re fine<br/>
</em>
  <em>Baby I’m here to stop your crying<br/>
</em>
  <em>Chase all the ghosts from your head<br/>
</em>
  <em>I’m stronger than the monster beneath your bed</em>
</p><p>
  <em> Smarter than the tricks played on your heart <br/>
</em>
  <em>We’ll look at them together then take them apart<br/>
</em>
  <em>Adding up the total of a love that’s true<br/>
</em>
  <em>Multiply life by the power of two</em>
</p><p>Santana didn’t notice she was crying until she felt the wet patch of tears on her sweatpants, and she knew it was because the song was <em> beautiful </em> and so was Brittany’s voice mingling with Rachel’s, and she didn’t realize before how much this song was <em> so </em> her and Brittany. This was Brittany’s way of telling her that she’s there for her no matter what, that despite all of Santana’s deep-seated issues and fears and insecurities, Brittany <em> loves </em>her, and will stay by her side through it all. </p><p>
  <em> Now we’re talking about a difficult thing<br/>
</em>
  <em>And your eyes are getting wet<br/>
</em>
  <em>I took us for better and I took us for worse <br/>
</em>
  <em>Don’t you ever forget </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Now the steel bars between me and a promise<br/>
</em>
  <em>Suddenly bend with ease</em><br/>

  <em>The closer I’m bound in love to you<br/>
</em>
  <em>The closer I am to free</em>
</p><p>Santana was pretty much <em> bawling </em> by the time they finished the song. All she wanted was to be <em> free</em>, to <em> feel </em> free and to be with Brittany freely, and it hurt <em> so </em> badly knowing <em> she </em> was the one preventing them from being together, because frankly, Brittany had been hers for a while now. Brittany’s just been waiting for Santana to be on the same page as her....but she’s <em> always </em> been, and maybe Brittany just needed to hear those words. Maybe <em> Landslide </em>wasn’t enough. </p><p>Santana watched as Brittany hugged Rachel and then bounded over to her dresser where she pulled out two small pieces of paper. She hurried back over and stood in front of the camera, smiling and holding up the papers so Santana could see what they were. </p><p>“Come with me, San. I got two tickets to see the Indigo Girls next month….I couldn’t imagine going with anyone else. We can watch them perform that song <em> live</em>,” Brittany gushed excitedly, and Santana suddenly went into panic mode and shut her laptop abruptly.</p><p> Santana knew that Brittany would have no idea how long she stuck around for the livestream, but that the blonde was probably expecting some sort or reply about whether or not the Latina wanted to go to the Indigo Girls concert with her.</p><p>Of course Santana <em> wanted </em> to go, but there was no way that she could. Surely the Indigo Girls weren’t the most popular music act in the world, but Santana had no idea how many people from Lima or McKinley might be at the concert. What if someone saw her there, with Brittany, on what obviously would be a <em> date? </em> One that involved attending the concert of two singing lesbians? She’d basically be <em>outing </em>herself. </p><p>Even if she <em> could </em> convince herself to go, she knows she’d just be paranoid and jumpy the entire time, which would be no fun for her <em> or </em> Brittany. So Santana knew she had to somehow tell Brittany <em> no</em>, while also expressing how much this all meant to her, and how much <em> Brittany </em> meant to her, and how she still wasn’t quite ready but that she would be, one day (hopefully one day soon, because she knew she couldn’t make Brittany wait forever). </p><p>So she spent all night pacing the floor of her bedroom (similar to how she did the night before), coming up with <em> exactly </em> what to say to Brittany. She wanted tomorrow to be the day that Brittany found out <em> everything </em> Santana felt, that it was clear and coming from some place vulnerable and honest, and that this might be the scariest thing Santana’s ever done in her entire life, but that she was pushing through it anyway because Brittany meant the <em> world </em> to her, and it was about time that Santana finally told her that. Santana just had to have hope that Brittany felt the same way, and that she’d be willing to wait <em> just a little while longer </em>for her.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The Indigo Girls song is called Power of Two, I encourage you to listen to it because it makes the fic even better :)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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